Forgiveness Education and Coaching

Due to a massive loss and betrayal in my life, which led to an extended period of suffering and bitterness, I had to learn to forgive. At the point that I rescued myself from my self-pity, anger, and victimhood, I had to choose a topic for my Ph.D dissertation at Stanford University. I chose to do a randomized clinical trial in forgiveness to see if what had worked for me would work for others. My project was successful, and the results were compelling and convincing. Forgiveness training reduces anger, stress, and depression, and more significantly, it leads to greater hope and inner peace.

I was only the third researcher in the world to demonstrate that forgiveness was good for physical and mental wellbeing. Forgiveness had been ignored as an intervention and there was almost no science attesting to its effectiveness. My dissertation enabled me to get funding from the only major grant competition ever awarded for forgiveness research. That grant catapulted the Stanford Forgiveness Project and led to the largest randomized trial on the effectiveness of forgiveness psychoeducation.

"Your work is tremendous….I wrote this down and have it at my desk because I never want to forget it. "What it means is that in your heart you are clean, and you are no longer blaming them for problems in your life. You are just choosing to release the bitterness that I have created in me, to just take care of my life. That's forgiveness." I am just a guy on the other side of the country that wanted to express my gratitude for putting me on the right path in this journey. I plan on preaching the gospel of Fred whenever I get the chance!”

Tom

"Somebody says, "when the student is ready, the teacher appears" and even though you don't know me, you are my teacher. The gift you have given me and the world--of understanding what forgiveness is and how to choose it--has been a balm for my heart and soul. It is changing me and my life….It's like I have discovered a superpower, which I think you named how to stop taking offense….I know there is more such work coming my way, but now I have tools and a map.”

Merideth

"I have read Forgive for Good a number of times learning so much about changing my stories and knowing that I have choice in redirecting my thinking. I did, however, come away each time wanting greater clarity about forgiving myself. Your message on Saturday touched me deeply and really got to the heart of the need to clean up past messes.”

Alison

"I have been a big fan of yours for a long time. Your research and writing on forgiveness has given me tremendous comfort. My son was killed in Afghanistan in 2008. Your books on Forgiveness and Stress Free for Good, have been a vital contribution to helping me come to grips with his death and, once again, live a life of joy. Thank you so very much. ”

Carly

Since then, I have given hundreds of presentations, workshops, and seminars on forgiveness, and educated tens of thousands of aggrieved people all over the world. I have worked with, and counseled families who have lost loved ones to violence, including families from Northern Ireland, and many individuals who lost loved ones in the attacks on the World Trade Center. My research shows that forgiveness reduces depression and anger even with the catastrophic loss of a child or other loved one to political violence. I’ve shared my learnings and methodology to trainers all over the globe from a war-torn Sierra Leone to Honolulu, where I’ve worked closely with educators and coaches for the last 15 years in an initiative sponsored by the Hawaii state government. I have spoken at the United Nations, and traveled to Colombia to help its citizens heal from their civil war. Among other things, I helped create a museum exhibit on forgiveness, in Bogota, trained peer educators in forgiveness, gave multiple public talks to both welcoming and skeptical audiences, in addition to creating a Spanish curriculum of Forgive for Good.

Schedule Appointment

I schedule forgiveness education and coaching appointments on zoom for individuals, couples, families, and work teams from anywhere in the world. I generally work with clients for between 1 and 6 sessions.

Text: (650) 208-7658
Email: learningtoforgive@comcast.net